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I’ve learned a lot about honesty lately, especially about being honest with myself. I’ve also had to work on being honest in social interaction, which is incredibly difficulty. I think this is where honesty and integrity diverge. Integrity gives the idea of honor in work and personal life. The kind of honesty I’m talking about is a candidness, and it’s difficult to be candid in a kind but sensible way.

People do not inherently deserve respect; however, I think that it is the obligation of every man and woman to give respect. We are fallen in our sin nature, and it is only the Lord who commands our respect. Being honest while still being respectful is something I haven’t figured out yet, especially with adults (35+). I’ve had to distance myself from a lot of adults I don’t respect, because I want to break this cycle. I don’t want to be rude or disrespectful, but I also don’t want to act like I’m supporting actions or beliefs that these people have.

As a woman, I think it is particularly hard to speak my mind, because there is an emotional element that comes out. Often, I am emotionally involved, and I cannot compartmentalize in a way that makes my communication productive. So the only option for now? To retreat, until I figure this out.

Jesus was one of the most candid people who walked the earth. He called the Pharisees out on their hypocrisy, and He addressed sin as He saw it, through His divine eyes. Although He was not hesitant to judge, He was also not hesitant to compassion and understanding. He didn’t detach Himself after He spoke His mind, but rather, He invited sinners into fellowship with Him and walked with them.

He’s the model I want to follow. I want to find a way to be honest, yet compassionate. I don’t have that compassion right now that I so desperately need, and I think that’s something I need to pray for. Understanding the grace I have received from the Lord is the first step. If I don’t find a way to comprehend this grace, how can I give it to other people? If I can’t give them grace, then I can’t give them respect. And if I can’t give them respect, then I can’t speak honestly, with speech seasoned with salt.

At least blogging has helped me face myself. Now I need to learn to face other people.

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