Tags
Christianity, Confidence, Faith, Feminism, Grace, Honesty, postaday2011, Respect, Self-actualization, Self-awareness
I’ve learned a lot about honesty lately, especially about being honest with myself. I’ve also had to work on being honest in social interaction, which is incredibly difficulty. I think this is where honesty and integrity diverge. Integrity gives the idea of honor in work and personal life. The kind of honesty I’m talking about is a candidness, and it’s difficult to be candid in a kind but sensible way.
People do not inherently deserve respect; however, I think that it is the obligation of every man and woman to give respect. We are fallen in our sin nature, and it is only the Lord who commands our respect. Being honest while still being respectful is something I haven’t figured out yet, especially with adults (35+). I’ve had to distance myself from a lot of adults I don’t respect, because I want to break this cycle. I don’t want to be rude or disrespectful, but I also don’t want to act like I’m supporting actions or beliefs that these people have.
As a woman, I think it is particularly hard to speak my mind, because there is an emotional element that comes out. Often, I am emotionally involved, and I cannot compartmentalize in a way that makes my communication productive. So the only option for now? To retreat, until I figure this out.
Jesus was one of the most candid people who walked the earth. He called the Pharisees out on their hypocrisy, and He addressed sin as He saw it, through His divine eyes. Although He was not hesitant to judge, He was also not hesitant to compassion and understanding. He didn’t detach Himself after He spoke His mind, but rather, He invited sinners into fellowship with Him and walked with them.
He’s the model I want to follow. I want to find a way to be honest, yet compassionate. I don’t have that compassion right now that I so desperately need, and I think that’s something I need to pray for. Understanding the grace I have received from the Lord is the first step. If I don’t find a way to comprehend this grace, how can I give it to other people? If I can’t give them grace, then I can’t give them respect. And if I can’t give them respect, then I can’t speak honestly, with speech seasoned with salt.
At least blogging has helped me face myself. Now I need to learn to face other people.
Antigone's Clamor 
Jesus WAS 30…but even in that culture, I believe that would be considered “young.” I don’t think maintaining silence is necessarily agreeing with someone, or not arguing not standing up for something…I think it might be more about knowing what is worth causing a disagreement/strife. Because we are called to pursue peace. Sweetly and simply stating our differing opinion isn’t necessarily disrespectful, or saying, “Well, I personally think this…” But it can be hard in most situations…those are just my initial, rambling thoughts 🙂
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First off, I think this is one of your better posts, because you’re being honest with us about having trouble being honest. That right there is awesome.
As for the actual problem, I also find it hard to be honest with adults (35+) and even my peers when it comes to things I don’t agree with. Especially coworkers. I’ll just nod my head and move along, but in my mind I’m disagreeing with them, because I don’t want to offend them. As confrontational as my nature is, I really do not enjoy conflict. I avoid it as much as I can, because I know someone wil get hurt in the end, but that doesn’t justify it. You can’t just walk away from every little thing you don’t agree with.
Wow. This was quite a thought-provoking topic! Thanks for sharing! You have given me things to ponder upon…
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It’s ridiculous how some people separate emotion from reason. Research in neuroscience suggests that we can’t think without emotions.
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Karen, I agree, but I also think that many people can’t handle a difference of opinion maturely. Often, I think they see stating a different opinion as disrespect, which is unfortunate. Plus, I don’t think I come across as particularly sweet or innocent, so I don’t think I could ever give off those vibes. 😛
Thanks, Tim! It’s difficult to find the balance between running away from a problem because of fear of offense and confronting for the sake of conflict. I think a lot of that is sin nature corrupting what could have been good responses.
John, it’s very true. Compartmentalizing the emotions rarely leads to good results.
Like Terry Goodkind says, passion rules reason.
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