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Faith, Friends, Honesty, Human spirit, Illness, Life, Reflection, Self-actualization, Stress
A friend of mine posted this quote this week, and it provoked a lot of controversy. ”Refuse to be ill. Never tell people you are ill; never own it to yourself. Illness is one of those things which a man should resist on principle at the onset.” - Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
While I think the quote leaves a lot open to interpretation, what I took away from it was to not have the mindset of an ill person. I say this as someone who’s been sick for ten years. Once I was diagnosed (quite a bit later), I felt defeated physically, and that was when the disease really took over. I acted like an ill person, and I let people know I was ill. It was an excuse to get out of things I didn’t want to do, and I let it hold me back in areas where I could possibly have pushed myself.
And now, three years after the diagnosis, I am out of bed and overwhelmed. Illness is an isolating thing, both physically and emotionally. Until I started becoming more active (not without great effort), I didn’t realize how isolated I had become. I used to be an outgoing person, and now, I found myself getting stressed out at meeting friends of my parents.
People who don’t have a chronic issue, especially one that doesn’t display obvious symptoms, don’t understand those who do. I have two other friends who are sick, one with the same illness and one with a similar illness, and I know they have found this to be true as well. For about three weeks, most people will feel sorry for you. They will offer (usually really bad) unsolicited medical advice, ask you how you’re doing, but then they seem to forget. I think it’s hard for them to wrap their minds around illness being a standard set of being.
That’s where I got off. While it was the standard for me, it was not normal. Nothing about illness is normal. Sick bodies are part of what come with living in a sick world.
After two years, I got tired of living in bed (although I’m not tired of my sweatpants yet!!). It took me about another year to work up to a semi-normal energy level. I know that I’m not ever going to function properly, but that’s not me admitting defeat, like so many think. Instead, I’m looking at the situation from new eyes—not the eyes of a sick person and not the eyes of a healthy person. They’re the eyes of someone who will live at any cost.
“The more serious the illness, the more important it is for you to fight back, mobilizing all your resources—spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical.”-Norman Cousins
timotheous128 said:
I agree with your interpretation of the quote, but I can instantly hear the arguments against it (I wish I had known of the controversy! That would’ve been fun). 😛
But yeah, if you have a defeated mindset, you will become defeated physically. Sometimes I think people misjudge the power of thought. That’s not to say I’m going all Joel Osteen, but I do believe that, if you set your mind on something, and really strive for it (all while seeking God), then you will be blessed. Positive thinking within divine will.
Great post!
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Antigone's Clamor said:
You’re always good in an argument! 🙂
Yes, absolutely. There’s a strong connection between the mind and the body, and it is often exemplified in illness.
Thanks!!
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timotheous128 said:
Hahaha! Thanks! 😛 And you are most welcome! 🙂
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Doc said:
I agree with you. I think one’s mindset during any struggle- be it illness, finances, mood, work, whatever- is an important element in determining who you are and how you want to be perceived.
“Think of life as a terminal illness, because, if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived.” ~~ Anna Quindlen(1953 – )
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Antigone's Clamor said:
Anna Quindlen is fabulous, Doc. Thanks for sharing! There’s something to be said for living life with an eternal perspective. It’s difficult to balance living in the moment with keeping the big picture in mind, but both are important.
Thanks for stopping by!
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Arjun Sharma said:
Hey nice post 🙂 do drop by my blog sometime. thanks
arjun1097.wordpress.com
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Antigone's Clamor said:
Hi! I like that you have a lot of movie reviews. It helps to read that before I make a commitment to watch something.
Thanks for stopping by!
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Miss Demure Restraint said:
I’m at a loss for just what to say. Doc and Tim already said all the good stuff. You are a very sweet and brave person. You have such a good attitude. I just want to hug you, but my damn laptop is in the way.
Stay strong.
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Antigone's Clamor said:
I understand. 🙂 Even when I meet someone with a similar problem it is hard to know what to say. Thank you for the kind thoughts!! They mean a lot.
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Kevin J.J. Murray said:
Thank you for sharing such an honest and inspiring post. I was diagnosed with a long-term illness myself earlier this year, so I know what you mean when you talk about “the mindset of an ill person”. It’s something that really troubled me as well, and it’s something I don’t think you can fully understand until you’ve experienced it yourself. One positive effect that illness had on me was to encourage me to live life NOW, to stop waiting to live the life I wanted to. Illness might ultimately stop me from doing those things, but if I had continued on the way I had, I don’t think I would have done them anyway. In a way I’m kind of glad that it happened, because while it might mean that I have less time overall, it will be time better spent. You come to appreciate what’s really important in life, and what things are just wasted potential. From reading your post it seems to me that in many ways you feel the same, and I hope that you continue to be such a positive person 🙂
God bless, Kevin
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Antigone's Clamor said:
Kevin, thank you so much for those kind words! I’m so sad to hear about your illness, and I hope that you feel as good as you possibly can as often as you can! Yes, I’ve had friends with illnesses, and they’ve said the same thing. It really helps to know someone else, because others, as good as their intentions might be, do not really understand. They may sympathize, but they just don’t know how it feels.
That is wonderful that you came to that conclusion! An illness can either make you embrace life or reject it, much as it can with God. I, too, would not trade my life for the life of a healthy person. It has enriched me and blessed me in more ways than I can count. It’s great that you can see that!
Sarah Dessen said this, which I think is apt for our discussion: “It’s all in the view. That’s what I mean about forever, too. For any one of us our forever could end in an hour, or a hundred years from now. You never know for sure, so you’d better make every second count.”
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lscotthoughts said:
Lara, thanks for opening up to us and all I can say is, you’re in my prayers and thinking positive thoughts is always the best. Not speaking of illness, but of other life’s hurdles, when the attitude is poor, usually everything else goes south. But when a positive attitude is leading the way, it seems everything turns out to be okay. I don’t mean for that to sound cliche, but I’ve noticed that in my life. Anyway, sending healing hugs your way~
Lauren
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Antigone's Clamor said:
It didn’t sound cliche at all! Very heartfelt. Thank you for your prayers, Lauren. I so appreciate that.
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lscotthoughts said:
You’re very welcome, Lara! 🙂
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