I’m getting really pumped for nursing school, and I’m currently in the preparation stage, which is one of my favorites! Attempting to be open-minded (ha! yeah, right), I’m looking into potential roommates. Most of the students are in town, and since this is a post-baccalaureate program, it’s much smaller than your average nursing program. I don’t have too many people to choose from, and who knows if any of us will be compatible.
I started out with a list to ask while interviewing a candidate. My fiancé got a huge kick out of it, though I reminded him that I interviewed him more thoroughly when we started dating. Amazingly, I was subtle enough that he didn’t know it at the time. I got home and showed the list to my family. They spent about half an hour making fun of it and insisted that I whittle the list down to about 1/4 of its original size.
QUESTIONS I *WISH* I COULD ASK A POTENTIAL ROOMMATE
Environment
- How do you like to study?
- Do you prefer noise or quiet?
- What is your home environment like?
- Do you like things neat, messy, or “lived-in”? “Lived-in” means a slob in denial. It takes (a former) one to know one.
- Do you have pets? Will you abandon, I mean, leave them for someone else to take care of when you go out of town?
People
- Have you ever had a roommate before? Was that a positive or negative experience? Why? Yes, and we were pleasant, accommodating, and left each other ALONE.
- Do you anticipate having out-of-town friends or family come to visit? Do you expect them to stay here?
- Do you have friends or study partners over frequently? What about strangers? What do you think a good visitor policy would look like?
Habits/Idiosyncrasies
- What does a typical day look like for you when you’re in school?
- Do you go out during the evenings and weekends and come in late? Please say “no”…those 4am clinicals are stressing me out already!!
- Do you throw parties?
- Do you drink?
- Do you smoke? I’m going to assume a nursing student is not going to do drugs. I hope I don’t regret that assumption.
- Are you a light sleeper?
- Do you prefer to share things like clothes, food, utensils, or other possessions, or do you like to keep things separate? If they say they like to share, what they really mean is they want to use YOUR stuff.
- What will your study hours look like?
- How do you like to socialize and relax?
- What annoys you? Probably me at this point.
- Will you be having overnight guests?
Agreements
- Are you willing to co-sign a lease?
- What about cleaning? Would you like to split it up or alternate weeks?
- Are you willing to split a security deposit? A “no”=automatic rejection. Red flag!
Other Important Questions
- Is there any personal info you have to share or think I should know? At this point, my mom threw her hands up and said that they’ve already revealed EVERYTHING personal that they could.
- Do you have any references from past roommates or landlords? Hey, I can provide references, too! This does not just go one way. After this questionnaire, I might not need them…
- What is your means of support? While I feel like this is pertinent information, my family (including my 13 year old brother who was piping in) thought this was too personal… Hey, I don’t want to get stuck with the whole rent!
- How much are you currently paying for rent?
- Do you already have furnishings and other necessities? Are you expecting an already furnished apartment?
- How do you envision your time at school? What are your expectations?
- Is your reason for getting a roommate economic? Or do you want one to bond with or want to build a support system for nursing school? At this point, I’m sure the interviewee has ascertained that my reasons are purely economic.
- What IS your support system like?
- What are YOU looking for in a roommate? Not me anymore!
Wish I could actually ask all of those questions without being considered a nut… I should probably work on being a little friendlier…
Since I have 12 months to do 2 years of nursing school AND prep for NCLEX (nursing exam), I figure I better make sure my environment is ideal. That means clean (NOT “lived in”…that is just another excuse for MESSY), quiet (no noise from headphones, either), and peaceful (study groups ≠ study time; study groups = social time, at least when I’m in them). Also, no perky people in the “morning”…most of us know that morning time starts after 11am. (1pm on an especially good day!)
This is what I ended up going with. *sigh* I’m afraid of what I’ll get…it’s too easy to give all the right answers!
ACTUAL LIST THAT I WILL USE WHEN INTERVIEWING
- How do you like to study?
- Do you prefer noise or quiet?
- Do you like things neat, messy, or “lived-in”?
- Do you have pets?
- Do you prefer to share things like clothes, food, utensils, or other possessions, or do you like to keep things separate?
- Are you willing to co-sign a lease?
- Are you willing to split a security deposit?
- What are YOU looking for in a roommate?
Much more tame and sad-looking. I could get virtually ANYONE. Well, anyone in the program who needs a roommate, which is maybe 6 people. Okay, readers…what do YOU think?
Antigone's Clamor 
Maybe you could just turn your longer list into a check list of things you are looking for in a room-mate. Prospective roomies could check off the things they agree with and then you could talk about the things that they didn’t check off.
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Nice idea, Margie! I’ll rework that longer list a little bit. If it goes both ways, then it’s not making me look like I have a disorder. 😉 Thanks for the tip and the follow! It’s always fun to meet new people.
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I think the discomfort you may be feeling (and think you’re causing) because of your specific list of questions and requirements is probably nothing compared to what it’s like living with the wrong person. You’re being smart. In addition to writing and nursing, you could teach a course on how to reduce the frustrations of daily life. I’d sign up. (Unless there’s a list of prerequisites.)
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Charles, I got a huge kick out of that comment!!
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I love the list. If I were looking for someone to share my living space with, my list would probably be even crazier. In the past my most serious compliants have been tied to “kitchen habits.” Questions I would have to have answers for include, but are not limited to:
How often do you cook and do you clean up as you go or do you wait for days, weeks, months, years?
Do you plan to order delivery knowing you are going to be “just a couple of bucks” short?
Do you leave leftovers in the fridge? If yes, how long do you usually leave them there? Days, weeks, months, years?
What kind of food do you cook, eat AND leave in the fridge? Or more directly . . . how smelly is it?
Can I expect you to frequently “borrow” my food? If yes, how long is it usually before you replace it? Days, weeks, months, years?
You can see where I’m going with this. So, did you plan to have separate bathrooms. If not, I have a whole ‘nother list for that!
Good luck and may you find someone that becomes a lifelong friend or is, at least, a tolerable roomie.
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Hahaha! Your comment made me laugh, Miss D. 😛
And Lara, I still say you’re crazy. ;P
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Tim, I’ve heard enough roomie horror stories to be careful. My roommate in college was PERFECT, but I doubt that lightning can strike in the same place twice.
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Kitchen habits…you’re right. I left an entire section off of my list…
Your list made me laugh for awhile! I think perhaps because those are candid, but valid questions.
Maybe this roomie thing is not for me. 🙂
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I have experience on the “Guess what this item in the fridge used to be” department…
But on the upside, I’d be a good roommate, being slightly on the OCD side of the spectrum of kitchen hygiene.
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I don’t think we would make good roommates…
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John, I think you’re right.
🙂
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Two things: if tv has taught us anything is this: nurses and drugs are a powerful, yet dangerous combination (Nurse Jackie), roommates can be scary and inconvenient, to say the least (Friends, http://youtu.be/SO6JX-EOkm4).
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Hahaha, true that! I’d forgotten about that Friends episode.
The more I talk to you all, the more I’m coming to the conclusion that I’d rather live alone. 😛
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I love that list. I might steal it if I end up getting a roommate ;). Seriously though, I think all those question are perfectly valid! You want to know what you’re both getting yourself into, and how can you know unless you ask?
Hope you find a good one!! 🙂
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Feel free to do so! It’s a conglomeration of questions I thought of and questions I found on the internet. The checklist idea that Margie suggested earlier is a great way to be less intense about the situation.
Thanks, Court! 🙂
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I was really lucky when I moved in to my flat, and I love 5/7 of my roomates. The one is horrifically messy, and basic kitchen hygiene seems to be a concept completely alien to the man. The stench of stale cigarette smoke, rubbish, etc that seeps from the room is the main reason I keep the hall window open even when it’s 0 degrees outside. The other one never eats and only plays his drum ‘n’ bass between 2am and 6am. When it’s super convenient. There are so many questions I’d love to ask people, but for some reason, you just can’t! This is why people don’t tend to live with people they don’t know, I suppose…
(:
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Sarah Alice, that sounds terrible!! How long are you staying there?
Yes, people seem to get offended when you don’t automatically trust them. It wouldn’t be hard if people were inherently trustworthy. 😉
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I’m here until June, and the rest of them make the whole experience bearable. It’s just the fact the gross one lives immediately opposite. And there’s no subtle way to say “would you please, for the love of all that is Holy, shower, and clean your room out?”
Unfortunately this may lead to offence. I would say it though…
This is why people should really choose their roommates extremely carefully!
I hope you find someone who is pleasant, companionable, hygienic, able to respect space… and so on.
(:
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There really isn’t any way to suggest a shower, is there? I wonder what Miss Manners would say on the matter. She addresses the most awkward situations with such tact and humor. She probably couldn’t even find a way to say that, though. 🙂
Thank you! 🙂
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I’d love to know if Miss Manners could solve this one for me…
🙂
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I can’t tell you how many times I wish I had asked at least half of those questions. Knowing what I kn ow now all of those questions are valid and so are the ones listed by Miss Demure Restraint. Remember, it’s your sanity that is at stake! 🙂
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Ohhh, goodness! I’ll try to weave the questions in as naturally as possible. 🙂
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You sound so much like me, you might be better off alone! lol
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Yes, Patti, I think you may be right! 🙂
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<< is far too OCD to consider a roommate. Bear is bad enough, and I adore him.
Best of luck, but I would also ask how often s/he has "lost" the key during inebriation and whether the lock service is on retainer or if you will need to get up when s/he staggers home from the after hours breakfast and BYOB on the morning before a test.
Tehe.
Red.
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Ah!!! More good questions. 😛 I guess you never really know with people, do you?
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Oh Antigone please don’t make the assumption that a senior nursing student does not do drugs. My first sponsor was an extremely senior nurse – who later fell off the wagon and died on the streets. Good Luck!
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Leslie,
Haha, great… So much for thinking the best. 😉 Glad you stopped by.
Lara
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I think you need to put down your lists, shut up the clamour and the doubts in your overly analytical mind, get back in touch with the people skills that lead you to WANT to nurse and help people, and just VISIT with potential roommates. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT! LISTEN TO YOUR HEART! If I had made ANY lists when meeting my husband, I would not be married to such a perfect soul mate today! And I KNOW you have what it takes in your heart to discern the appropriate roommate; otherwise, you would not have wanted to be a nurse, for crying out loud!
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Granbee…As I put down my lists, I think that I will thrive alone, in my own safe space. Thank you. 🙂
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Haha, I saw myself when I read this post because I was also interrogating my probable roomy, ended up alone in the flat! It IS important to find the right roommate, life gets so much easier when you do
Good luck!
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Poetic Goblin, thanks for coming over to comment! I agree. Quality is worth waiting for. 🙂
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