Facebook has really screwed up social order. Although it’s categorized as “social networking”, it’s becoming increasingly obvious that it can’t be used for social purposes. Facebook Timeline made that clear, as many of us are scrolling through the years 2006 and 2007, deleting careless statements that are probably harmless…just in case.
Facebook deceived us. We thought it was a place where we could have fun, joke around, get to know each other a little better. I read once that it is “the twenty-first century version of a ‘50s soda joint’. Except now…what happens at the soda joint leaves the soda joint.
Now, it just shows who’s desperate, who’s a political hothead, who’s rude, who’s arrogant. Not to mention that everyone else is watching, waiting for us to screw up on Facebook, so that they can gossip about us at a party or deny us a job. Does it matter if we’re not like that in real life? It’s a cutthroat economy. One wrong move from a Millenial, and the game’s over. Facebook has stripped us of our privacy. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You would think that all of us Millenials would know that the world is not a safe place, after Columbine, 9/11, the war in the Middle East. But somehow, we were comfortable enough to be lulled into a false sense of security. Facebook was just a trap, but we are waking up.
Yet, the most painful irony of all…we really can’t get along well without it. If there was a way, I’d do it. I’d live in that black hole of social ignorance, if I just thought that I could get a little privacy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve deleted my Facebook, thinking I’d be better off without it. There’s always one phone number I don’t have, one person I can’t seem to keep in touch with outside of Facebook.
How do you establish yourself as a leader without social networking? How do you market yourself? How do you organize? It’s a double-edged sword, with globalization and the internet. The world is at our fingertips, unlimited access, but can you use it before it uses you?
Somehow, life has become entwined with Facebook, like weeds choking a plant. Without the weeds, the plant could not support itself, but with them, its life is taken over.
cuhome said:
Very astute observations, and unfortunately, I believe to be true. PS — you’ll do fine in nursing school!
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Antigone's Clamor said:
Thank you, Janet! Well, I plan to study hard, and I’m hoping the return and reward will be great. 🙂
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Anonymous said:
There’s a number of ways to get around it. Forums for information and like-minded contacts. Twitter. GooglePlus. Pintrest…I havn’t used any of them (Except for Pintrest and the Forums), but people are listening and watching. Those that want to capitalize on the population are realizing that not everyone WANTS to be stalked by Facebook and — as always — are providing other alternatives. Now, that comes with it’s own set of problems that the public will fall into, but don’t despair. Facebook will fall in its due time, just like other places. After all, the bigger they come…
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Antigone's Clamor said:
This is true. There will always be another “Facebook”. With the advent of the internet, things have changed, and places like Facebook, Twitter, Google, and YouTube have stripped our privacy away. While those sites won’t be around forever, others will come. I’m reminded of what Mr. Universe said: “You can’t stop the signal”. 🙂
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pattisj said:
For me, I use Facebook to keep in touch with family that I wouldn’t ordinarily chat with regularly. It’s also nice to have my blog linked to it. But every time something changes on there, I wonder if I really want to keep up.
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Antigone's Clamor said:
Yes, I do the same. It’s very practical. And the changes are SO hard to keep up with!
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Warrior Poet Wisdom said:
Great write, I agree completely. Facebook has had a detrimental effect on many relationships thanks to miscommunication and misinterpretation, and I would venture to say it hasn’t resulted in that many genuine new friendships or working relationships either. Speaking personally, a majority of the messages I send on Facebook never get returned, whether they’re personal or business related.
It’s a playground for the ego and I’ve all but abandoned my personal account there. What’s the point of bragging about what you’ve done or achieved? All it serves to do is make most people jealous and resent you. The only thing I use it for now is the Warrior Poet Wisdom page to post inspiring quotes and poems. The ones seeking such things find their way there and appreciate the gesture. The ones who want no part of it have no part of it. No hurt feelings or bruised egos from being “unfriended.” I don’t think Facebook itself is the problem. It’s the people using it, and unfortunately, a majority of people on it don’t have a firm grip of their egos, hence all of the constant misery, disappointment, unfulfillment, arguments, and sheer boredom most find there.
Thank goodness for WordPress. 🙂
Peace & grace,
~Miro
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Antigone's Clamor said:
Miro, I started to reply to you, and the reply got too long. I think it turned into today’s blog post. 😉 To be succinct, I completely agree with you!
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Warrior Poet Wisdom said:
Glad to hear. 🙂
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lscotthoughts said:
Thanks for this insightful post, Lara! I have to agree with you, too, and if I may, I’d like to echo Miro’s comment…I do have a fb page that I started when my kids wanted one (parent stipulation). It’s fun, but I’m only on it once in awhile and now, I’m mostly active on my LScott poetry page. I honestly feel that with all the social networking, true communication is now lacking~ 🙂
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Antigone's Clamor said:
Very true…isn’t it strange how social networking dehumanizes us?
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cuhome said:
Well, I do have a big problem with the government and business snooping via Facebook, so have been strongly considering just going back to email. Personal. Stuff can be used and misconstrued on Facebook, and it is. By people who don’t have your best interest in mind. I know it would be inconvenient not to have Facebook to contact friends/family, but I’m just thinking, more and more, that it’s not safe.
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Antigone's Clamor said:
It’s a Catch-22 now, for sure! It’s only a matter of time before people regularly snoop on text messages and email, if they don’t already. I don’t think anything electronically transmitted is truly safe.
On the other hand, it’s not such a bad thing if we have to think carefully about what we say… Maybe we’ll redeem ourselves a little bit.
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lizsturm said:
As an “old lady” Gen X’er 😉 I’ve heard of more than a few people who suffered some pretty nasty consequences when their personal and professional worlds collided on Facebook. Like you, I’ve tried to delete my page but people hunt me down assuming that something is wrong with me. Hopefully, you Millennials will figure out a way to manage all this.
Liz
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Antigone's Clamor said:
Those stories never seem to end!
I’m certainly not there yet, Liz. It’s a process, learning how to prune my thoughts. It does bring to light many things that I wouldn’t say in person but would say virtually, and I think that’s good. It causes me to evaluate myself more than I would otherwise.
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Jon said:
Good post Leigh. I think that the problem your seeing is one that many people face. I know the people you are also referring to the desperate, the political hothead (I think that’s me), the rude, the arrogant. But I also think it is misused. A lot of people seem to think that it is a way for them to have a consequence free place to “be themselves”. While I support a person’s right to privacy and right to free speech, you have control of what people see on Facebook. If you are posting things are offensive to some you are responsible for how the message is conveyed. With free speech comes the responsibility to communicate accurately the message you want others to receive. If a potential job gets access (which you don’t have to give) and you have pictures posted you wanted want others to see, then that is a message you technically invited them to see. If someone gets mad because you said something about them on your post, you’re responsible for that. It’s the same with our blogs. We can’t communicate accurately in words the emotions, feelings, thoughts and ideas we post (nor can we in 140 character SMS messages.) however, if we say it is now part of the public domain and we are forever responsible for it then.
Also I think it has been misused to the point that people want their whole “social selves” to be part of the “social graph”. They forget about the importance of spending real time next to one another with that small group of people that are important to us. They expect to find that in the “Hey haven’t heard from you in a while” world of online media. So in a way I think many thought since Facebook did give that us, the friends and family we had lost, we expected it to give us things it could never be programmed to do, give us real relationships.
I think that as long as people think of Facebook and other online media as a permanent and public (whether you have already shared it or not) and that they don’t rely on social networking to offer more than it can they begin to see it as a tool. Which is all it is and all it ever could be.
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Antigone's Clamor said:
“While I support a person’s right to privacy and right to free speech, you have control of what people see on Facebook. If you are posting things are offensive to some you are responsible for how the message is conveyed.” <<love this!
However, facial recognition technology is readily available, so even if you untag yourself from someone else's picture, they can still find you quite easily. Also, while you can untag yourself from someone's status, the name remains. If you say something careless, and someone else thinks it's funny and posts it, then it's stuck up there. Or you might be associated with a person who doesn't reflect well on you. There are so many ways that you can look bad on Facebook, and even if you obsess over what's on your profile, you can't always control what's on someone else's. I don't usually let many pictures be taken of me period, even though I'm not in compromising places. I just don't think that you can be too careful now!
You are right! I might have to quote you in today's post. 🙂
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jodiq said:
Nothing online is private anymore, maybe it never was. For some that is a good thing, for others not so much. I love facebook, love connecting with old friends, new friends, listening in on their lives (as they reveal them) and sharing my own. Some people simply exist there, posting little or nothing…maybe they are there, but spend their time creeping friends’ walls…I don’t know. I guess, how we use it, how much we use it is up to us. Hope you find peace with facebook…
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Antigone's Clamor said:
Jodi, I think you’re right–it wasn’t ever private. The majority of people are still in the process of catching onto that fact. I think that when we use these sites, we have to understand that everything is permanent and most anything can be used against us. We have to have a double-dose of caution, more than we would use with in-person interactions. Thanks for your comment!! Happy New Year to you.
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cuhome said:
In the right (or wrong) hands, Mother Theresa could be manipulated to appear to be a despicable person! Good thing to keep in mind, before pressing that “enter” button!
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Jeff said:
I agree with the issues about Facebook. I’ve said several times, various places, that, with all of the “connectedness” we are experience, we are more disconnected than ever. That being said, I do enjoy Facebook, and try to be exactly who I am in person. Hopefully, anyone who reads my status updates on FB, will find that, if they were to meet me, I would be the same. Of course, that could be good or bad.
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Antigone's Clamor said:
Very true, Jeff! It’s easy to let ourselves be isolated with all of this technology. Good for you for trying to use it well! It’s a great tool.
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imperfectous said:
great post. its one of those, you cant live with it, you can’t live without it.
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Antigone's Clamor said:
So true, Imperfectous!
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