It feels good to be finally out of burnout mode, which lasted almost two years. I’m definitely not in a place where I’m ready to touch the future yet, though. That’s still something I want to leave alone. I may have vague ideas and desires, but I have no actual wish to bring them to fruition.
Once I had a student who got frustrated and said, “In Kindergarten, they tell you that you’re getting ready for elementary school. In first grade, they tell you you’re getting ready for junior high. In junior high, high school. In high school, college. In college, ready for working. Working, then YOU DIE! What is even the point?” It was hard to argue with that…
Similarly, I remember finishing my second degree, and at my graduation party, someone asked me what I was going to do next. I replied that I already had a job in my field. That person replied, “No, I mean after that”. I felt deflated. I don’t even remember who it was, but it doesn’t really matter. That was probably the moment I realized that I didn’t want to live like that again. Why does it always seem like life is about where you’ll end up? You don’t ever really end up anywhere. I had worked so hard, and it had cost me enough just to get here… I deserved a little break from my goals. (Or a long one).
So what next? Who knows? Who cares? (Not me). I am loving experiencing different things, trying new foods, seeing new cities, and just generally lounging around. I think you can be content and still want things, but letting goals consume you or weigh you down takes you straight to disaster. The opposite, however, is found in 1 Timothy 6:6-8 (and a little more after that).
But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.
I feel like that’s plenty to work on for right now. Except I would like to add that I will be content with the food as long as it’s farm-to-table, and the clothing is super comfortable. I’m probably not supposed to put qualifiers on there, so that just tells you that this is a plenty tall enough order for me right now.
That last arduous season was almost too much. I don’t intend to waste this one and miss out on all its benefits. Like Bill Watterson says,
We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.